Saturday, August 25, 2012
Today was definitely a test of patience.
Large, healthy doses of patience. With a whole lotta aggravation on the side.
Decided to head off to the FanExpo at the Toronto Convention Centre. After hemming and hawing over the ridiculous price ($45 FOR THE DAY!!!) and being haunted by the horrid memories of FanExpo experiences past, I decided to just go and look around anyway.
Forty minutes of pleasurable riding on the GO Train and getting a little lost later, I was on my way across the SkyWalk to the South Building.
There are two buildings that make up the Toronto Convention Centre - the immense North and the smaller South.
Keep this in mind as you read.
Having assumed one could purchase tickets "onsite," I followed the Nerd Herd towards the only entrance.
"Where's your badge?" asked a bored teenager at the door.
"Isn't this where you buy tickets?" I queried.
"Nope, you gotta go two blocks down that way."
She pointed vaguely somewhere into the middle distance, then went back to snapping her gum.
Thankfully, there was a rather large crowd headed towards the "offsite" location to purchase "onsite" tickets. Without this human arrow, I would have had NO CLUE where to head. There were NO SIGNS ANYWHERE, not even a "Welcome to FanExpo" type sign. You'd think after all the hype on the radio and in the newspapers, they'd want to show fans where the con was.
Still undeterred, I walked towards what I discovered was a parking garage. Along the wall, on a tiny white piece of cardboard, "FanExpo Tickets" was scrawled in black magic marker.
Keep it classy, FanExpo.
Heading inside, I was greeted by a sight that took my breath away:
This is the line to get in.
Moments after I joined this convention conglomeration, a similar wall of people filled in behind us, and trickled down the street outside. The pictured line in front of us goes down around the corner and winds a good half-mile on into oblivion.
This is just about as far as I got today.
After waiting 3+ hours in this Human Zoo, inching ever closer to the goal of purchasing an overpriced ticket to make the best of what I had left of my afternoon, the first communiqué of the whole day was announced:
The convention was sold out.
From my vast experience in attending them all across North America, I know one thing for certain:
Conventions DO NOT GET SOLD OUT!!!
Wait, let me rephrase that:
GOOD conventions DO NOT ALLOW their fans to wait for hours on end in a hot tunnel of flesh only to be told they can't get in.
The ONLY con that officially gets "sold out" is ComicCon in San Diego. But they sell all their passes ONLINE IN ADVANCE, so this bullshit nonsense doesn't happen.
From what one of the other people in today's line said, this happened last year too!!!
The mind boggles.
When I attended FanExpo four years ago, I thought it was pretty bad. It was somewhat annoying to have to wait in line for half an hour inside the convention centre even though I'd purchased an advanced pass. But back then, the wait was more of a bothersome inconvenience than an all-out, hot, crowded, total afternoon-waster.
From what I'm reading of others' accounts, even if you actually did make it through the multitudinous mob, you weren't guaranteed to actually see anything inside. Lines were super long, celebs were grumpy, the dealers' room was a chaotic fiasco, and no one really knew what was happening anywhere at any given time.
On the bright side, the best part about today was all the instant friends I made after having to stand near them for hours on end: the kindly retired cop whose stepson is putting on a stage production of Night of the Living Dead (Romero approved!); the man and his son (who spent the majority of his 14th birthday in line); the British dad and his Stan Lee-loving son, inconsolable he'd miss out on meeting his hero; the cosplay guy who bought a pass, but misplaced it and even though he had his credit card receipt and proof-of-purchase, the idiot organizers forced him to wait in line to buy another pass; the guy in the Ghostbusters costume who had 2 Tupperwares full of cupcakes for a bake sale inside, but ended up selling them for $5 a pop to the famished crowd of people surrounding him...
THAT was the fun part. Crowd mentality and all that.
Unhappy fans turned away by the hundreds.
After three hours of brutal waiting, the rumour rippled down the line - FanExpo was sold out for the day. No free Sunday passes given out, no real information, not even an apology.
Honestly, if this happened in the U.S., there would've been riots and pandemonium. Like my new friend the retired cop so accurately postulated, "They're taking full advantage of Canadians' politeness."
If FanExpo decides to fix things, here are a few tips for next time:
- Know your audience. Nerds, geeks, dorks - whatever you want to call us - we RULE conventions. We are your people and we deserve to be treated like people and not cattle with dollar-sign brands. Treat us well, we'll return the favour. Treat us like today and only "apologize for the inconvenience," you'll get a backlash like you wouldn't believe. If nothing else, we'll stop coming, which means no cash for you!
- Change venues. Fast. The North Building of the convention centre was fine for Toronto Comic-Con, so why a show at least 2 1/2 times its size wasn't there is beyond me. My 65-year-old mother who only ventures into nerd-dom enough to love Big Bang Theory also suggested having it at the Direct Energy Centre at The CNE. It's big, it's spacious, it has good, copious parking, and it's right on the transit lines.
- Have it at a different time. August?! During The Ex?! As my dad would say, "Are you NUTS?!" Apparently. Try for early July and then have another one in September or October. Spread out your crowds so this bottleneck never happens again.
- Another avenue would be if Rue Morgue would branch off and have their own separate horror con in October. They're big enough and well-known enough to pull it off, and they could work in concert with the Toronto After Dark Film Fest so fans could have a con experience and a cool film fest around Halloween.
- Communication is key. If we were actually told at least ONCE what was going on today instead of hearing things thirdhand, we would've felt at least a little mollified.
- This brings me to the key element of any good convention - organization. It's not that difficult. ComicCon in San Diego does quite well, thank you. As do the smaller cons like Monster Mania in Cherry Hill, NJ and Monsterpalooza in Burbank, CA. Having been to conventions all over North America, I was mindful to tell all the new congoers that this is definitely NOT what a GOOD con should be.
To say I was disappointed today would be a gross understatement. Apart from the Continuous Creation Con Clusterfuck™ in the U.S., FanExpo is THE WORST run con I've ever had the displeasure of attempting to attend.